The girl stood at the edge of the train tracks, the paper in her hand flopping in the wind. She absently reached up and brushed the hair that had come loose from her ponytail. There was not a soul in sight. She'd chosen this deserted track for precisely this reason. But just because it was deserted didnt mean no trains came through from here.
In less than fifteen minutes the cargo train, fifty containers long, would breeze through here, stirring up the autumn leaves as it moved. And hopefully the girls life would end too just like the way this day would end, slowly and gradually. She lifted her hand and reread the letter again. "I've finally decided. I cant keep living anymore. My life makes no sense. You're the last person who understands and I don't want to scar you forever. I know this act of mine will hurt you the most. It doesn't mean I didn't love you. Or that I didnt care for you. I just couldn't keep trying to live. 'Trying' being the key word. Just know I love you-present tense."
The letter made no sense to her when she read it first, half asleep. She'd found it under her pillow one morning and was rereading it the fifth time when her mother had burst into the room, confirming what she had been reading. Gone. Just like that. Here one minute. No longer the next.
Is this how he'd felt? Standing on the edge of the cliff, heart pounding, dreading leaving things and people he loved behind, anticipating the relief ahead? Had his demons taunted him? "We've finally succeeded", they must have said with glee.
And now she was here, giving into her demons.
The sun dipped lower and the wind howled as if telling her to hurry and get it over with. Not too long now. As she stood, counting down to her last breath, a thought crossed her mind. Not for the first time either. Who'll remember me? Who will mourn me? Will her sister cry as she goes to sleep? Will her twin brother feel her absence when he goes to board their school bus? And mostly will her parents feel the hole she'll leave behind in the house? An empty, hollow, vacant void. A single tear streamed down her face. Yes. Yes to all of it. She would be missed. Just like she was missing him. Suddenly her sadness turned to rage. Who was he to cause her such pain? Even after he'd left this world. Left her. Why would she, someone who he hadn't cared about enough to stay, end her life for him. The train whistled, signaling its arrival. As the light on its front grew larger, she made her decision. She wouldn't be so foolish. She crumpled the sheet of paper into a ball and threw it onto the rails, taking a step back just as the train flew past. Her hair blew with the sudden gust of wind and the autumn leaves stirred up and flew up into the air but her soul remained.
