Bump in the road

We all have those moments where we're just staring at a wall or out the window, eyes seeing but not really looking wondering why? Why did this happen to me? Why am I going through this? What did I do to deserve this? No matter the situation, the feelings that we all go through are the same. Betrayal from the closest friend shatters our perception of trust, dishonesty from the person who you counted on to tell you the truth no matter what makes you wonder about sincerity and the deceit that you never expected hits you with pain so hard that you could never have imagined you'd experience it.
But what we should focus on in a time like this is that betrayal flushes out your true friends, dishonesty makes you more aware of the truth and pain, no matter how awful, is fleeting. As much as you think you do, you do not deserve this. Life puts you in such situations to make you learn from them. Never let the same flame burn you twice. It might take some time, but surround yourself with people who root for you when you're succeeding, who want you to prosper because your triumph is their victory too. Friends are supposed to make you feel better about yourself. And if your friends do not, then you need to re-evaluate your life and find the ones who do. Because no matter how alone you might feel right now, where you are right now is not your final destination. It is just a bump in the road that might set you back or delay you, but your journey is far from over and if you can just cross this obstacle then you can be back on your path.

NaNoWriMo 2015

It is November ! It is officially fall and that time of the year where the leaves are falling, sweaters are being worn and we get to sit in the sun to soak up its warmth. But most importantly it is time for NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and it occurs in November. It is a month in which people - brave people I must say - challenge themselves to write a novel of fifty-thousand words in thirty days. It is my first year participating in NaNoWriMo even though I have known about it for a while and it takes some courage to attempt such a thing. As of today, we are one week into November and I am going strong and staying a little ahead of my word count (just a couple hundred words but I am still ahead so yay).

My story for NaNo was something that I came up with on the 1st of November. I was going to write one story but I switched and changed to this one. All I can say about my story is that it is in the fantasy genre and it is about faeries. YES FAERIES. I am very excited about it because there is a lot of world building - thus a lot to describe which is great for my word count - and there are so many plot directions that I'm exploring along the way.

I don't know if I will complete the fifty thousand words challenge but I am determined. I also don't know if this novel is something that I would ever get to. or want to, publish but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now I am enjoying myself and that is all that matters.

PS: I am posting updates on twitter all the time so check out my twitter for fun stuff. my twitter handle is bloggerofstars.

As always, thanks for reading. Happy writing to all of you participating in NaNo this year!

Writing.

He ran a hand over the spines of the books on the shelves. Some were rough , rubbing against his fingers like grains of salt, others were smooth like the marble that he was standing on. He picked out one and held it out in front of him. It was a journal of sorts, cover bound in red felt. He flipped through it not really reading anything. It was filled with scribbly writing from front to back, not a single page left blank.
“You do know that reading someone’s journal counts as eavesdropping right?”He turned around to see a girl standing behind him, her head cocked to the right. She was wearing a large red hoodie with the words ‘Music is the answer’ written on it.“You wrote this?”“Along with a couple others.” She nodded and gestured to the other books on the shelf.“A couple?” He chuckled. From his idea there were at least twenty books on the shelf.“I write. A lot. And since I work here part-time, the head librarian lets me keep them here. Besides, not all of them are as filled as that one.” She jerked her head towards the book in his hand.
He slid the book back into its slot with a slight thud.“I’m Joe,” he said as he slipped his hands into his pockets.
“Lauren.” She slipped the hood off her head and gave him a small smile.He had to catch his breath at the sigh of her. He hadn’t seen her hair yet. It was spiky and short, just reaching her ears. But the most striking feature was the color. It was a deep dark red, darker than her hoodie, definitely dyed. He smiled back at her but she was already moving towards the desk in the center of the library. She hopped up on it while he leaned against one of the book cases.“So what do you like to write?”“Everything basically. Poetry, short stories, drabbles. Whatever I’m feeling, good or bad, it goes down on paper.”
“Can I read something?”“Haven’t you already?” She teased with a smile but she jumped down and pulled out a journal and handed it to him.He scrutinized her closely then looked down at the book in his hand. It was similar to the first one he’d seen but this one was covered in blue felt instead of red. He flipped it open to a random page and started reading. Her writing was neat but became scribbly in some places. He could tell that she was the kind of person who always had a lot to say and the words could not come faster for her.‘Lyrics aren't just words in a song. They are feelings, Feelings so strong that they stir something within you. Something you can relate to so closely it feels as if the song is written just for you. Through lyrics you hear the meaning behind the words.’He looked up at her remembering the words on her hoodie. She was leaning against the bookshelf next to him with her arms folded across her chest defensively. He studied her closely then went back to reading.‘The worst part of it all is the finality of it. The realization that whats lost is lost for eternity. And the reminder that we are all but travelers who will one day reach the end of this journey too.’ “I like it. It’s, uhh, very relatable.” He was unsure of what to say.But I have to ask, he added. “Why is all of it so sad?She tilted her head to her right like she had done earlier and scrutinized him. “A lot of people ask me that. And my answer is always because the most passion is found in feelings like anger and sadness. I can write about the sky and the sun and the birds chirping in the morning at the possibility that a new day holds. Sure, love does move you sometimes but it is the anguish that brings the truth out.”

15 ways to feel happy instantly.

Happiness is a choice. Laying on bed, moping about the things you don't have will never get you anywhere. Instead choose to be happy by seizing the opportunities thrown at you. Here are 15 ways that will get you out of that mood where nothing feels right :


- Choose to be happy. I truly believe that you can decide what mood you want to be in for a day. If you choose to not be that person who snaps at everyone and is hating hard on life, you totally can be. The choice is in your hands.

- Don't be afraid to try new things. Say yes to new experiences, you never know what it might lead to. New possibilities lead to new chances to find things that make you happy.

- Pamper yourself. Have a spa day. Get a facial done. Paint your nails. Put some makeup on. Heck, no one can stop you from wearing that red lipstick if that's what makes you happy. Keeping your outer self nice and satisfied eventually leads to a happy inner self.

- Write. This one is my personal favorite, ihaveablogdedicatedtowritingsoduh. Writing is the best therapy I have found to help decide what you're feeling and how to get past it.

- Take a walk. Getting out of the house really helps relax you. In a world where everything has to be planned and you gotta get to things on time and follow schedules, doing something different every once in a while that's not planned helps you relax and breath and just notice the little things.

- Listen to music. Music is one of the best mood changers there ever can be. Playing upbeat dance music can instantly snap you out of your dull, unhappy mood. *whispers* Grab your hairbrush and sing and dance to Taylor Swift, I promise not to judge.

- Plan a trip/travel. A change of scenery can help change your mood easily and make you feel better about yourself. It doesn't have to be an extravagant vacation to Maldives - although no one will complain to that - it can be just a road trip to visit the hills near your town or the beach.

- Count your blessings. Focusing on what you have and not on what you don't and cant have is a good way to put things into perspective. When you are truly grateful for what you have, then you will never envy people again.

- Bake/cook - There is something about baking that calms me. I love how precise it is. How everything has to be perfect. And having a yummy treat at the end is a bonus.

- Go shopping - Buying new clothes and changing up your look will help you feel pretty on the outside as well as the inside.

- Declutter and clean. Spring is upon us. Throw out old things that don't please you anymore and keep the things that you truly cherish. Quality over quantity, people!

 - Hang out with old friends. Reconnect with the people who you know will have your back no matter what, even if you don't talk to them all the time. Old is gold and old friends are a perfect example of that. Surround yourself with people who you trust and love.

- Read a book. Diving into a world that's not yours really helps distract you and keeps you from over thinking. Also fictional guys are way better than real guys, don't you think?

- Sleep. We have become so busy with our lives. Always stressed out to the point of breaking that we have forgotten the best way to relax. A good nights sleep. It's the best way to refresh yourself and forget your problems for a while.

- Disconnect. Turn off your phone. Close your laptop. Just disconnect from the internet. We live in a world where we are pressurized into thinking that if we don't keep up to date with all the happenings in the world, we are 'not cool'. Banish that notion and focus on yourself and things that truly matter.

Friends.

The last time she’d seen him, he was disappearing through the door of the Starbucks they usually stopped by to get coffee from. And now here he was, half a year later outside the same Starbucks (coincidence? She didn't really believe in those)  standing in front of her, grinning that half grin of his that always made her smile, grinning at her as if the last five months they’d been apart had been just a bad dream that she couldn't shake off. 

But she knew, just as well as he did, that it was not a dream. He had really left her with no answers but an unexplained text that said “I need some time to figure out who I am” that pissed her off to no end. She could respect a person’s need for discovering their true self but vanishing into thin air was so not cool. But she was glad to see him because he was her friend, her best friend, he always would be. Her friend with whom she’d spent her whole childhood, who knew every single thing that mattered, who knew her. But because he was her friend she was not letting him get off so easily. She put a hand on her hip, tilted her head to the side and glared at him. Slowly that lazy grin of his faded and he held up his hands.

“I can explain.” He said. When she kept glaring at him he took a step towards her, hands still raised. “Or I can get on my knees and start begging for your forgiveness, whichever you prefer.”

She barely contained her smile but kept scowling at him. “How about you do both? Starting with the begging and kneeling, of course.”

“Of course.” With a dramatic flourish he bowed. He dropped to one knee and looked up at her. She started tapping her foot impatiently and tried very hard not to laugh. A few people were giving them odd stares and she knew this was really wounding his ego. After a barely audible sigh he put his other knee down as well. As he was about to speak, she burst out laughing. Now it was his turn to glare at her. He moved so he could rise but she halted him.

“Wait, wait. Hold on a moment.” She pulled her phone out of her bag and opened the camera app. “I need to capture this moment forever.”

He started getting up but she pushed on his shoulder. “You haven’t begged so this is the least you can do after you've been MIA for months.” She fixed him with a pointed look.

He sighed. “Fine. But be quick.” He looked around at the people passing by and scowled.

The look on his face made her giggle. She took her sweet time snapping a couple of pictures, making him turn this way and that before she commanded in a faux queenly voice for him to rise.

“Now can we get out of the cold and get some coffee so I can tell you where I've been?”

And because she was never one to fight frequently and hold grudges she forgave him,forgave him even before he’d apologized. She nodded and he pulled her in a warm hug and with his hand over her shoulders he pulled her into the warm Starbucks where they sat with warm cups of coffee in their hand and talked for hours as if no time had passed at all since their last encounter.

Focus. Concentrate. Write.

Focus. Concentrate. To actually make the words believable you have to put your passion into it. Find the things that make you passionate. Anger usually does it. Find your anger and use it to focus. But always ask yourself if there is another way. A way to write without it being always about anger and pain and hurt. Without going dark. And there usually is. Happiness. Joy. Exuberance. They make writing easier. Start with a memory, something that intrigued you that you'd like to reminiscence. Once you start, you lose yourself in it and can't stop, Because you're lost in the feeling that came along with it, reliving the moment. Writing. It is as easy as that. As easy as 1,2,3.

Stages.

I was the one who changed, okay? Let it be the 'it's me, not you' situation.

It's the thought that counts, not the gesture.

I said all the right things at all the wrong times.

I deleted all your texts but I still remember exactly what they said.

Be brave. It gets better if you believe.

Confused with the ways of this world.

Don't need saving. I am my own saviour.

Purity.

Light streams through the open window, bathing the beautiful white petals of the freshly picked flowers in a wonderful glow. White roses, they are. They stand straight in the glass vase that they have been placed in. Half filled with water, the vase gives support to the long stemmed roses that stand up with pride. Of course they have something to be proud of. They are beautiful, have the most magnificent scent and symbolize purity and innocence. The light passes through the glass vase creating a rainbow on the marble top. How wonderful the sight of a rainbow is. Seven divine colors, seamlessly blending into one another creating a pleasant sight to see. A breeze flies through the window, ruffling the petals of the roses, wafting its scent throughout the room. A white Persian cat appears through the door held ajar by a pair of red sneakers. It jumps lightly onto the flower patterned armchair sitting beneath the marble top where the roses lay. As the cat paws softly at the furniture, a dew drop falls on it as the roses sway in the breeze. It glares up at the flowers, growling lightly and shaking out its fur. With a smooth leap, it lands next to the vase on the marble top. One whiff of the roses' scent and the cat relaxes instantly. It lays its head on its paws and purrs in the warm patch of sunshine, enjoying the cool breeze and the company of the roses.

Fall.

Things I love about Fall.

Chilly Mornings.
When you wake up in the mornings and your blanket is declaring its love for you and your bed doesn't want to let you go and there is a chill in the air that makes you hide under your blanket and not wanna come out ever, that's when you know its almost time for winter. Although it is a pain to get up to go to uni, chilly mornings are still my favorite.

Coffee.
Even though I drink hot coffee all year long, fall is a season where people won't look at me in disbelief and go "Isn't it too hot to be drinking that?' I can curl up on my couch wearing my comfiest, coziest sweater with a cup of hot coffee in my hand and just enjoy life. In todays world where everything is moving so fast you hardly have time to stop for a second and breathe, having a moment to yourself is a gift.

Sweater weather.

It's finally time to pull out your warm sweaters and hoodies that have been locked up for the summer. It is a good time to be alive cuz it is 'socially acceptable' to go out in whats basically your night suit. Yay for soft fluffy sweaters and big warm hoodies.

Boots.
One of my favorite fashion pieces are boots. Long boots. High heeled booties. Wedge boots. Little ankle booties. AAAH. I just love all of them. I love pairing them with jeans and wish I could pull them all all year long.

Bonfires.

One thing that doesn't start until its too cold to feel your finfers are bonfires. But I still wait for them impatiently. I really love how during bonfires you relive old memories and there's just this carefree feeling that everyone seems to be high on. It's my most favorite feeling ever. Singing songs. Reminiscing. And bonding over it all.

Turning leaves.
Of course the whole point of 'fall' are the autumn leaves falling down. I've never witnessed the proper fall but I see the trees turning brown and shedding their lovely leaves to the ground. I just can't resist walking on the leaves, crunching them under my feet and just enjoying my day.

Shake it off.

Getting upset over something someone did is totally okay. But you should never let it get you too down or feel as if you are not enough, People don't realize the power of words. They are inconsiderate and don't think of the consequences of what they're saying. But that doesn't mean you should let that make you feel inferior. Instead talk to the people you love, do the things you enjoy and forget what others think and just be you.

Shopping, for most of us if not all of us, is a kind of therapy. We enter our favorite store, gawking around at the beautiful things that we might wear the next day, already imagining the perfect outfit next time we go to class and for one moment everything in the world is problem free. There is no drama. There is no pain. There is just the joy of shopping.

Go for a walk. It clears the mind and gives you some 'me' time. Let go of your fears and insecurities and just breathe in the cool autumn air and enjoy life for once. Hell, step on those crunchy leaves if that's what you want to do.

And if blasting TSwift in your room dancing around to it is what makes you happy then no one can tell you otherwise. Music has a way of making you so happy you forget what you were sad about. After all 'haters gonna hate'.

Trust.

I openly admit that I have serious trust issues. Reason being that I have had my trust completely shattered by different people. Hence you can't blame me for being cautious. I'm a very outgoing person. I'll make many friends, very easily. But as soon as I start getting close to someone I put up a wall. I believe in the saying 'better safe than sorry'. But sometimes my walls are too thick. They don't let the people who actually want to help in. But how do I see the difference between who's safe and who's not? Do I take a chance and get hurt or play it safe? I'm still trying to figure it out.

Inspiration.

 Lately I've been feeling pretty uninspired when it comes to blog writing. I open my blogger dashboard and stare at the blank page for so long that I lose track of time. I'm not a very patient person. But I'm also a perfectionist. I don't give up easily either. These qualities combined together make it very hard for me to not write for a long time. Writing is a passion of mine and if I say I don't have time to write then I am just fooling myself. Also I really hate when people say "I don't have the time to do that." Or "I am so busy I can't possibly do this." The concept of not having the time to do something is basically false. It's all about priorities and preferences. If you love something YOU WILL make time for it, no matter how busy your schedule is. And whenever I'm having problems with blogging I have to remind myself that this is something I love. Something that I want to be doing. And I will keep doing it until it is ingrained in my brain that no matter what happens I will blog. Obviously there will be days where I will be facing a writing block or some other issue. But this rule is mainly for putting off things and procrastinating, a bad habit of mine. (oops)

Inspiration comes from everything. You might be sitting in class studying geometry and something the teacher said might inspire you to write about something entirely unrelated to geometry. Then there's nature, which inspires unexpectedly. Try sitting in a park one day, just sitting with your notebook, looking around and noticing things. TRUST ME. You will be so inspired, you wont even believe it. Noticing whats happening around you is a great way to get your creative juices flowing. Look beneath the surface. Read between the lines. USE A LOT OF IDIOMS. (they're so fun I LOVE 'EM)

I don't know when this turned to a "tips to get inspired" blog post but that's where my thoughts took me. At least I'm over my writing block so I'm gonna go ahead and post this ramble.

As always. Thanks for reading.

Starting Uni...

Starting university is like stepping into a new era of your life.

While the thought of having a new start in a totally different place from where you were last sounds appealing, it is the idea of having to interact with people you don't know that sounds terrifying! Even if I consider myself to be the most outgoing, gregarious person, I might still be haunted a bit ( just a tiny little bit ) by the idea of a new beginning. Change is difficult for most people. It is human nature to reject the unfamiliar things because we don't know how to behave in such situations.

Also there's the fact that there already might be cliques and groups in your batch. Friends who come to the uni together from their college, people who met during the orientation week you missed. Acquiring that extra bout of confidence might be a lot harder than you think. But I guess its better to put yourself out there rather than be miserable and alone for the rest of the semester. I might also not follow my own advice once I start uni but we'll see.

My classes start in a while and I'm pretty excited but to be honest I'm very nervous too.
*fingers crossed*

Bedside Stack #2

Another bedside table stack! Here's what I've been reading and loving lately. Enjoy!

Book I love - The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseni

This book is a masterpiece. So soo amazing. One of the few books which actually 'move you'. Shows the horrible realities that people have endured and is painfully beautiful.

Book I recently finished - Room by Emma Donoghue

I picked this book up just because it was lonely in the bookstore. Excellent excuse I know. :P Anyways this is a very good book and a must read as it was soo beautifully written and so unique.

Book I'm currently reading - Let It Snow by John Green, Lauren Myracle and Maureen Johnson

I normally don't read Christmas books but just got this on a whim. A quick fun read following three stories which overlap and end on a sweet note at the end.

Book to be read - Message In A Bottle by Nicholas Sparks

So I have this pet peeve when I can't read the book when I've watched the movie. I've heard that the movie of this book is good so thought I should try the book out first. EXCITED.

State Of Tranquility.

Sometimes when I'm lying in bed, with my eyes cast upward staring at the ceiling, and the music leaking out of my earbuds, mind wandering, searching I'm happy. No not happy, that's not the right word. Satisfied, pleased, at ease, are words that I would use to describe this feeling. This serene feeling that gives me hope that all is not lost. That helps me go through another day wishing it is the one that will bring answers. When I'm breathing slowly and then deeply when I realize I can, all I can be is grateful. And content.

Ignorance Is Bliss.

I've always been the kind of person who hates being left in the dark. I hate when someone is keeping secrects from me. Unfortunately (for those who are hiding it) I have an uncanny way of somehow finding it out. Sooner or later. I'm sneaky that way... haha.

But I love surprises... only the good kind though.  I love knowing that someone cared enough about me to plan a surprise, something I might like. But that is entirely a different matter.

I believe that sometimes being left in the dark is better.  Not for petty things like who's dating who... etc etc. If someone is hiding that he/she knows you can do better with not knowing about, then I think that it should be kept that way.

For me, at such a situation its a matter of trust. Do I trust the person enough to think that they know what I'd like to know/not know? Because honestly I am the one who has the right to decide what's good or bad for me. But for big decisions one can't ever tell.

Afterall you can't 'unknow' something once you know it. You can't go back and edit, cut or delete. Sad, but true.

Decision Making.

The worse part is not knowing what you want. I'm in that phase of my life where I have no freaking clue where I wanna be in the next few years. No idea of the consequences I might face for choosing what I will. I guess that's the main problem. I guess I'm not taking that step because I'm afraid of what might happen or what people will think. Maybe I should stop caring about what others think. Maybe I should think about what I wanna do and what I want for me. Because in the end I am the one who'll have to face the consequences. I guess its time to finally take that leap of faith.

Reminiscing.

What do I do when I can't get you out of my mind? 
When at every breath I wish I could turn back time. 

Fingers hovering over the keyboard. Wondering if I should text you.
Maybe I should, if just to say goodbye. 

I woke up crying just because you're starring in my dreams now.
Maybe writing it down will help me out somehow.

Hello! So I just wrote this poem today. I was reminiscing all day and finally put my thoughts in order. Hope you like it. Thanks for reading!

Rain. ♡

Drip, Drip goes the sound,
right into your soul. 
Making you feel things
that you've never felt before.

There's just something about rain... it brings unwelcome feelings to the front of the mind. Not bad feelings but not necessarily good either.

Just unwelcome. 

Rain brings a fresh feeling. The sound and smell of rain settling on mud is just so relaxing and calming and overwhelming at the same time.

To some people rain seems gloomy. I agree that it makes you want to sit by the window drinking coffee and reminiscing about past loves but its not always gloomy. To me, rain symbolizes fun times, joyful and carefree moments. Some of my best memories have been made in rain.

Honestly I pity the people who do not enjoy rain. I don't hate them, just pity them for they miss out on all the good things. They refuse to let go and dance and jump in the puddles 'and come on! Who doesn't love dancing in the rain?

Random Clicks - March

So the month of March went by real fast. It was also a very fun month. Half of it was spent baking delicacies. And the other half, stuffing my face with those treats.

Random Clicks Of March

These are really amazing cinnamon buns. My mouth is watering just from the sight of them. Yum. ♡

Also baked some chocolate marble cupcakes. ♡

Just a shot of my carry on. I stayed at my Grandmother's place for half the month soo yeah.

Butterfly! Isn't it beautiful? 

I went to this beautiful flower exhibition in March. It blew me away. And it smelled SOO GOODD! ♡

PS: All pictures taken by me and posted on my personal instagram.
Hope you enjoy!